I’ve spent most of my day pretty bored. It felt like such a waste because the weather outside is so unnaturally warm. I don’t have much interesting to say today so here’s an example of what I do at work:

One of my clients has a pet beta fish named “Snowflake” that he constantly torments. It’s not necessarily malicious, he just seems to have no idea of how to take care of a fish (and not kill the thing). I had some time on my hands so I decided it was time for Snowflake to draft a letter to my client. Lets call my client “David”. If you’re bored and want to read a letter from a fish check it out after the jump.

How to Keep Snowflake Happy and Healthy!

By Snowflake

My name is Snowflake and I’m David’s oldest fish. I was pretty happy to move into my new home in David’s room but I need you to help me with a few things to keep me happy and healthy.

  1. Don’t change my water too often! Hey man I was just getting comfortable in here! I only need my water changed once a week.
  1. No cold water! Brrr! I don’t have a jacket, mitts, or even ear muffs so cold water is no fun. I get sick, slow, and sleepy when you put cold water into my tank so always use water at room temperature.
  1. Let my water sit a bit first! Yuck I can barely breathe in here. Tap water is gross and bottled water is even worse. Before changing my water let it sit over night to mellow out. I also like water conditioner to help get rid of that nasty chlorine. Don’t use too much though!
  1. No tapping! Ouch that hurts my ears and scares me. I like it when David talks to me but tapping on my glass hurts my head and stresses me out. My little heart can’t take too much stress. Talking not tapping!
  1. Oww, no touching! Hey man, keep your hands to yourself! I like people but need my personal space like everyone else. When people touch me with their hands or nets it bruises me and tears my scales off. That really hurts you know! Plus, the doctor says it can make me very very sick too.
  1. Keep me in my home! Woah where am I? Keep me in my own tank except when you’re changing my water for me. It’s too confusing to move from tank to tank, it really stresses me out!
  1. Don’t over feed me! Yum! I love my fish food but I’m not very good at controlling myself, I just want to eat and eat! The doctor told me I should get my humans to help me control my eating. When I eat too much I get sleepy and boring, plus I feel really bad after. The doctor says I could even die if I pig out too much. My food bottle says how much I should eat.
  1. I like friends! I want to be friends with all the humans in my house but I don’t like bullies! I like it when people talk to me and take good care of me but it makes me sad when I get bullied or see my friend’s being bullied.


Thanks for reading my rules! I depend on my friend David and the other humans to take care of me. If everyone follows these rules I’ll live a longer happy and healthy life!