Dude, fuck you too.

Remember a few weeks ago when I had that weird spirit animal visitation? Yeah….that was a little messed up. The jury is still out on whether there’s a mother moose watching over me spiritually but I learned it’s definititly not an owl. Last night I was in bed chillin’ like a villain, you know sleeping and some shit when BAM a fucked up dream comes waltzing into my space. This time Steve and I are on a rooftop in some non-distinct city when out of no where…OWL! A white and grey owl (maybe a snow owl? I don’t know, I don’t know fucking owls) dives down and starts messing up my face with it’s talons. Not only is it scratching at my face and eyes but it’s also messing up my hair. I don’t abide that kind of bullshit so my first reaction was to reach up and grab him by his nasty bird ankles. Once I had a firm grip on his legs he starts to flap and tries to take off. Nope asshole nope. I press his feet against my head so he can’t get away and then quickly yell to Steve: “Punch it in the face! Punch it in it’s fucking face”. Steve nails it twice in it’s round white smug bird face. The owl is understandably fucked now but no one messes with my hair so I swing it by it’s ankles into a wall because fuck owls.

You’re going to get punched right in your dumb face

 

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