June 2009


7:00 am. A nearly ancient man walks onto the pool deck. He must be at least 80 years old. His walk is with a shuffle, his bones creak and rattle under sagging skin like some cruel imitation of a ’70’s zombie flick. Suddenly he stops, he uses a controlled collapse to place himself on a pool bench that is painted green and flaking.  Out comes a grey and blue inhaler from an old brown leather bag. The man brings it to his lips. He catches his breath but still remains; sitting staring at the water. Eventually he pulls himself from private thoughts and slowly rises again. He shuffle and shakes past me until he reaches the stainless steel pool ladder to my left. Agonizingly slow, he lowers his body into the water seemingly one inch at a time. I get a better look at him, partly due to my proximity and partly due to my boredom. He has lost almost all of his hair, and his flesh hangs like melted wax from his frame; it is covered in brown lumpy age spots. As his shoulders enter the water he pushes off and I find myself both disgusted and extremely guilty about it. The kind of thoughts we have that make us hate ourselves. These thoughts lead me to consider other things as he slowly swims back and forth. Once he must have been young man. Thick hair. Naivety, love, confidence and passion; buried in youthful flesh. All rippling taught muscle under smoothness and glow. I’m lost in pretentious thought when he arrives back at the steel ladder to my left. He begins a reversal of his agonizing entry but half way through he stops. He raises his head and in a slight Ukrainian accent he says to me:

“It’s not easy”

I say:

“No”

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Some suggestions”

Wristcutters

TransAmerica

The United States of Leland

Thumbsucker

of my all time favorite scene in The Royal Tenebaums

BEHOLD!

golfing

dragon

And then there was green.

First round of the salad challenge is on and the results are already surprising enough to suggest this could get interesting. So lets get into it.

Salad #1: McDonalds new Spicy Thai.

Lets be clear I went into the McDonalds salad entry with low expectations. So low in fact I assumed they would be a quick elimination from the challenge. Instead, I ended up being pleasantly surprised.  The lettuce was fresh and crunchy, the chicken was surprisingly good (better than the beef), and the Thai sauce was great. All in all I’d rate this salad as very good. Room for improvement is in the area of crunchy bits. I’m not sure exactly what the crunchy things were but they were a bit stale, luckily they give you the option of adding them yourself. Instead of an easy elimination McDonalds has set the bar.

Salad #2 Wendy’s South Western Taco Salad

Wendy’s has a long pedigree of good salads, in fact to my knowledge they may have been the first ones on the fast food scene to have a “good” salad. Unfortunatly with their Taco Salad I have to say they may have struck out. Now let me be clear is wasn’t “bad” salad, but it had some serious flaws. First of all there was way to much “goop” going on, dressing, sour cream, and chili, when all were added it just became this lettuce slop. It might sound a little harsh but that essentially what I got out of it. Even more perplexing….there was no taco bits. All in all I was quite disappointed. The chili was good as always, and the salad was filling, but it was less than appetizing. Two disclaimers to add; firstly I should disclose that Taco salads are not my favorite, and secondly due to Wendy’s long history of good salad’s I plan on giving them a second chance in round two.

Stay tuned as Trista and I try to work out who has the best salad in Brandon!

ok so me and sean– sean and I, whatever, are sitting in my living room watching Blaine play tiger woods golf, Drinking Dos Equis. Good Beer… also type in “most interesting man in the world”, or “dos equis ” in you tube and the commercials are hillarious.

Sean just told me that this blog isnt even open to the public? what? So now i’m like why am i even writing this blog post? i could just send out an email, or do something on facebook. fuck facebook i want to delete it so bad but everyone else has it, and uses it all the time, i would probably be out of the loop on everything, gah.

so sean said we are gonna be doing reviews of all the salads from fast food places, and i agreed to it, but when i stop to think about it, i have no money. My stupid car cost me 900 bucks in the winter and ever since then i’ve been playing catch up. so i dont know how i’m going to afford these salads. I’ll prob just taste seans. ok blogs are weird.

Jian Gomeshi + Billy Bob + Kitty

oh and if you haven’t already heard about the CBC vs Thornton drama here’s the actually interview. Billy Bob is a dick throughout.

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